Name: Antoinette Marie Dockery
Age: 39
Hometown: Tucson, Arizona
Occupation: Data analyst, economics and technology
Time Running: I began consistently running more than one year ago when I joined The Fort Remote Run program.
Reason For Running: I first started running to lose weight but now I do it to support my mental health.
Running and I have had a long relationship of discontent. As a child, I wasn’t athletic, though I would have loved to do gymnastics or swim more. But my parents said no to gymnastics because they were fearful of me getting hurt, and as for swimming, I was sensitive to getting chlorine in my hair and on my skin. Instead, my mom encouraged me to run track per her own athletic aspirations, which caused a bit of rebellion on my part.
My whole life, my family was more uncomfortable with my weight than I was, but their ideas about how I should look and their criticism affected my self-image.
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Last year, I was 400 pounds and looking for ways to lose weight. I tried to get into running a couple times, but it was very hard to be consistent and I wasn’t seeing the results, so I didn’t stick with it.
Looking back, I realize that part of it may have been my struggle with mental health: I knew that something didn’t feel right, but I couldn’t figure out what. My family history and the conditioning I received made me believe that you don’t medicate or seek professional help, instead, you look to God for answers, and you fight. So that’s what I did for the longest time.
Then in April 2022, my dad passed away from testicular cancer, and with that, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I could prevent my own risk of disease and disabilities. I decided to put my own health first, but this time, I wanted to do it for myself.
Up until then, I wanted to lose weight quickly but now I was thinking about my overall health and wellbeing. Closing up some of my dad’s affairs brought me to New York City, and with the help of my friend, I was introduced to the gym, The Fort.
I went to The Fort location for an introduction, and met with Runner’s World coach Jess Movold who is a strength coach there. Her passion instantly spoke to me.
The next day, as I was walking around New York, she ran past me, and called out “Antoinette, hi!” Seeing her strength and the ease with which she moved made me want to run. And so I joined The Fort Remote’s 16-week running program.
Joining The Fort was the best decision I could have made for myself. Knowing I’m not a planner, the fact that I didn’t have to think about what to do each day made all the difference. I had all my workouts written down for me, coupled with world-class coaches to show me effective training modalities. The only thing left for me was to show up. For the first time in my life, I started to run and train consistently—and actually enjoyed it.
Coach Jess also became an inspiration for me. I would often see her in passing when she would be training someone else, but she would still come over when I was working out and hype me up, and encourage me. Her positive energy and selflessness helped me persevere. My weight was fluctuating between 350 and 370 pounds before I started training. However, by the end of the program, my weight was 269 pounds.
I’ve also made progress in other areas of my life, as I gained greater self-awareness. While I’d lost good people to my mental health issues in the past, I was ready to acknowledge that I needed professional help. Thanks to therapy, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ADHD. Having a diagnosis gave me grace and understanding. It helped me forgive myself for the things I couldn’t piece together previously. I still don’t fully understand my diagnosis, but acknowledging that I have it in itself has been a big step forward. I now take medication to help stabilize my mental health.
Running has become an important part of therapy for me, as well. It helps clear my mind, gives me time to think, and allows me time to enjoy good music. It also makes my body feel incredible and mighty and gives me the energy I need to support others. My family, friends, and my team of colleagues get the best version of me because I run.
My one goal in life is to experience running with the people in my life I love and admire because they’re the reason I’m still here. I hope, one day, to run alongside Coach Jess. I would also love to run alongside my younger sister, who I’m very close with and whom I supported through my mom’s postpartum depression when she was younger. And through everything we’ve been through as a family, my sister has been my biggest cheerleader.
The physical part of running is great, but it’s so much more than that. It’s the definition of freedom for me. I know there have been terrible things happening recently that make running feel unsafe for Black people, but the sense of true freedom when running that I have, that my ancestors didn’t have—that’s important to me.
These three tips have made my running journey a success:
1. Start somewhere
If you’re compelled to run, just do it. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just do two minutes, five minutes, seven minutes. Go for a short run, and if you feel good, keep going.
2. Listen to your body
If it wants to run, let it run. If it wants to rest, let it rest. Pay attention to it and honor it.
3. Stop overthinking
Think about fluidity, like water flowing, and just go with it. If you’re thinking about it too much—where to go, how far to run—you’re stopping the flow of what is trying to pass through you and get you going.
Antoinette’s Must-Have Gear
→ Adidas Ultra Boost 1.0: This is the most comfortable running shoe. I give them to friends and they agree that the shoes feel incredible, light, and help improve mobility—jumping, running, and not stopping!
→ Lane Bryant Moisture-Wicking Pants: I buy the same workout bottoms over and over again—they’re that comfortable, no matter if it’s pants, capris, or shorts. They have moisture-wicking material, which keeps you comfortable. You don’t have to adjust your clothing. It moves, breathes, and flexes with you, so you can focus on your journey.
→ Superfit Hero Pocket Bike Shorts: They work so well, stay put, the fabric is very flexible, breathable, moisture-wicking, and supports your midsection.
As senior newsletter editor, Pavlína Černá is the person behind all membership emails sent on behalf of Runner's World, Bicycling, and Popular Mechanics. When she doesn't edit, she writes; when she doesn't write, she reads or translates. In whatever time she has left, you can find her outside running, roller-skating, or riding to the beat of one of the many audiobooks on her TBL list.
